TEAM BAND
by The-Stupid-Face
Summary: Hong Kong is fed up with the fact that his brother Korea is getting a lot of attention on the internet with the new song, Gangnam Style. Both Sealand and Hong Kong decide to create a band and so they gather the people they need to create the BEST BAND EVER. Named Team Band! Crackfic...no seriously, this is a result of my fiancée and I being really tired and hyper.
1. Chapter 1

How did this happen? How did this song become world-wide? The thoughts ran through Hong Kong's head as he had watched Gangnam Style for the five thousandth time. It wasn't even that good! He had thought to himself, he head banged along to the song whilst his body uncontrollably danced along. How did Korea even make this song!? "Stupid Korea…" Hong Kong muttered to him, he was filled with jealously for his brother. Sealand stood behind him, trying to learn the dance moves on the video. Singing along to the English words, "Can you like, stop that?!" Hong Kong turned to his step-brother who completely ignored him and only sung louder.

"OPPA GUNDAM STYLE!"

"It not Gundam style. IT'S GANGNAM!" Hong Kong shouted, as the song ended Sealand stopped and stood beside his older brother.

"I could do better…I'd have an awesome band that plays the best songs and then we'd be youtube famous!" As Sealand yattered on to himself, Hong Kong suddenly had an idea.

"Child, shut up for a moment. What if like, we made a band and like became world famous like Gangnam Style?" Hong Kong gripped onto Sealand's shoulder, staring into his eyes. Sealand gasped and smiled.

"Hong Kong, we need to do that like…NOW!" So they had decided to create the best most amazing band ever. They both called Iceland and Latvia, inviting them to England's house. All four of them sat in England posh home awkwardly for a while before Sealand slammed his hands on the table. "Alright, which one of you did it?" He screamed, making both Iceland and Latvia jump out of their skin. Sealand laughed at his random scare at the two teenagers.

"We want you to be in our best amazing band ever!" Hong Kong continued the shouting, confusing the other two boys greatly.

"Wait, a band? As in singing and guitar and drums?" Iceland replied, pointing out the plain obvious of a band.

"And Para Para Dancing!" Hong Kong shouted back at his friend.

"Para Para? We never agreed to that." Sealand turned to Hong Kong.

"Every band needs like, a Para-Para dancer. I am totally the dancer for that. CHECK THIS OUT!" He slipped out a ipad from his huge sleeve and shown them a video of himself doing a Para-Para dance silently in his bedroom with a serious face and only in his boxers. The video lasted for eight minutes and ended with his randomly kicking China in the face.

"Okay…then…Anyway, you two are now our band members, whether you like it or not." Sealand told the other two, who didn't really know what to say after the random showing on a video of Hong Kong.

They all discussed on a band name, it was difficult and took a lot of thought but they had all decided that the name 'Team Band' was a great name for them. They had assigned their roles in the band Hong Kong demanded to be the Para-Para dancer, because they really needed one. Iceland was forced to sing like Jonsi and make them world famous. Latvia was given the role of lead guitar, even though he didn't know how to play guitar. Sealand was assigned to the role of triangle because he really didn't know how to play any instruments. They had all left England's house after he kicked them out with a broomstick; they had all called him an old hag with Latvia saying he had a warty dick. When Sealand had arrived at Sweden's house, all he was able to talk about was Team Band.

"Can I join Team Band?" Ladonia asked in the middle of dinner.

"What's the magic word?" Sealand asked back, munching away at his food.

"Can I join Team Band, please?"

"No."

"Why not?! I know drums; I can be a great advantage." Ladonia was about to throw a tantrum at any second.

"You don't know the drums."

"I can learn them."

"Sealand, let Ladonia join your band." Sweden spoke sternly; he played with his own food as he watched his sons fight.

"But he's a fucktard and I don't like him!" Sealand shouted out in the table, Finland who sat next to Sealand quickly slapped his son across the head.

"Language, Sealand!"

"But it's true!"

"It doesn't matter if it's true, you don't call it in front of their face." Finland nodded to himself before eating his food. Ladonia sat with his mouth wide open about to say something, "Ladonia, before you say anything, shut up." Finland spoke, Ladonia did what he was told and carried on eating. After dinner, Sealand informed his band members the situation of an extra member forced upon by his father.

The next day, Ladonia snuck into Denmark's house and began to collect pieces of his drum kit. "Ladonia! What the hell are you doing to my drumkit!?" Denmark screeched at his nephew.

"Step aside Uncle Den! I am the new Lars! I have been assigned as drummer in my new band, Team Band!"

"Ladonia, shut the fuck up and put my drum kit back….And never touch it again!" Denmark ordered the boy, who threw a tantrum and ended up putting every piece back into Denmark's drum room.

And so, they had arranged their first meeting in Sweden's garage where Iceland had a broken mic he stole from Sweden's room right next to his ABBA collection, Latvia had stolen Prussia's guitar…just. Sealand had a triangle made for him by his Papa and Ladonia had a pile of paint tins and branches from the nearest tree. Hong Kong arrived with his camera and grinned, "This is like, gonna be the shit!" And so, they created their first song.

**((AN: This isn't meant to be good and have perfect grammar and spelling. Just enjoy the badness of it and then you'll probably like it.))**


	2. Chapter 2

Hong Kong arrived with his camera and grinned, "This is like, gonna be the shit!" And so, they created their first song. They had all prepared themselves in Sweden's garage and stood in their places.

"How do you know it'll be the shit? It might just be…well, shit." Latvia replied, given a pat on the face by Sealand.

"Shhh. No negative talk from you." Sealand whispered, glaring at his older friend.

"Hey guys! Can I join your band?" Korea entered the garage, immediately fuelling Hong Kong's rage.

"NO PISS OFF AND GET OUT OF HERE." Hong Kong kicked his brother out of the garage and shut the door. Hong Kong then walked outside with a sign with the words 'NO KOREA ALLOW' and placing it on the door; glaring at Korea and then walking back inside. Sweden stood by his volvo and watched the scene take place.

"Why're there children in m'garage?" He muttered to himself before offering Korea a lift to the airport.

"Don't worry Swede-man; I shall walk to the airport like on Mapcrunch." Korea then walked down the path and wasn't seen again.

Back to the TEAM BAND. Hong Kong had begun to record the video. It was a terrible video of Iceland and Latvia unwillingly singing out of tune about how much their life sucks and how much they hate their older relatives. Sealand and Ladonia were banging on everything visible out of beat and Hong Kong kept zooming in and out of everyone's faces and blowing bubbles everywhere.

He then ran off after they all sang and went to record random bunnies, sheep and ducks, zooming into their faces too. Hong Kong even managed to film Netherlands chasing after him with a broom stick telling him to get away from his tulips and bunnies. After showing everyone else his captured footage, he then told Sealand to edit the video. "But I don't know how to edit a video." Sealand told the others, nervous to do the job.

"It's easy, don't worry. Iceland can show you, he edits anime videos and puts them to music with crappy photoshop effects." Hong Kong smirked, watching Iceland cough and look away from everyone else. That evening, Iceland was made to babysit Sealand and Ladonia as they argued and edited the video. They used the worse photoshop effects and distorted the video and sound. When they showed Sweden and Finland, the parents had a massive headache but insisted that it was a 'nice video'.

Iceland uploaded it on his animu youtube and within four months the video got 50 page views. Sealand was amazed at the amount of page views it had gotten, not knowing that videos that are super popular are more than 50 page views. Nevertheless, he bragged it to everyone. He bragged to England, Sweden, Finland, France, and Canada but stopped when America told him the truth. "How many times have you checked the video?" America asked.

"50 times."

"Those page views are just you watching it."

"But we got a like from someone else though!" Sealand became confused and upset, how can he be the only one watching the amazing video of TEAM BAND?

"That like was from me." Hong Kong admitted, "Anyway, that video's nothing compared to my para para!" Hong Kong took out his ipad once more and showed America and Sealand the eight minute video of Hong Kong para para dancing in his boxers with a serious face. Forcing them both to watch until the very end where Hong Kong kicked China in the face in the video.

Sealand insisted on making people like their music video and decided to show Denmark and Norway with the rest of the band. They weren't impressed one bit. "Is that Ned chasing you guys?" Denmark pointed out one part of the video.

"No, he's just chasing me." Hong Kong replied.

"Why doesn't your music video make sense? It doesn't match the song at all." Norway criticized, offending all of the band members.

"Why don't Lady Gaga's song ever match? Can you answer that?" Hong Kong snapped at Norway.

"We're like the next Lady Gaga, innit." Sealand joined in the argument, only to confuse his uncles as to why he was saying 'innit'.

Latvia stood by Ladonia confused at the topic. "Who's Lady Gaga?" He asked the ginger boy.

"Some singer who likes to dress weird."

"We're going to be the next Lady Gaga by dressing up weird?" Latvia asked; only to have rolled eyes as a response.

The next day, Hong Kong went back to Netherlands house for a request. "Hello, Mr Bunny-Man. I would like you to market our awesome band named TEAM BAND. You have no choice, you must market for us and I will give you 50,000HK$." Hong Kong got a slammed door to the face as an answer. He slipped the CD through the letter box, "I want to see progress by Monday."

Netherlands decided to listen to the CD, after a headache and a half; he made his decision. "I need to smoke some weed if I'll market this." And so he got high and began to tell everyone how awesome TEAM BAND was. "Seriously Dan, you need to listen to these guys when high."

"I told you for the hundredth time, I don't do drugs anymore." Denmark stated.

"You will be doing drugs again after listening to these guys!" Netherlands replied.

"No!"

"Well, you should at least buy their CD, its top notch and two of the kids are your nephews. So you'd be a bad uncle if you didn't buy it." Netherlands glared at Denmark repeatedly saying 'buy it you bastard.' Denmark gave in and bought the CD out of fear that Netherlands would beat the crap out of him. He did the same to many other countries. TEAM BAND's views on youtube went from 50 to 100 pageviews with 2 likes.


	3. Chapter 3

_Previously on TEAM BAND: Hong Kong and Sealand decided to create the best amazing band ever that would beat Gangnum Style. Dragging Latvia and Iceland and forced to take Ladonia, they made their first music video, 'ihatemylife .co .uk'. It got 100 views with 2 likes over the course of a year. Hong Kong has also forced Netherlands to market their song, making him take more weed than he needed and forcing Denmark to buy the shit album and smoke weed with him. AND THAT IS WHAT YOU MISSED ON TEAM BAND._

Sealand sat in England's house, bored out of his mind and wanting to shoot his brother's eyebrows off because to be honest, they were asking to be shot off the man's greasy forehead. "England, England, my band is like so much better than your bands. Like we're so much better than that crappy two dictation or something, soooo much better."

"That nice, brat." England sipped his tea with his pinkie up; he wasn't listening to the brat.

"Can we enter Eurovision this year?" Sealand asked suddenly. "We'll help you win for once in your existence."

"Whatever." Sealand smirked and ran off to his computer to inform his band members.

"Guys! We're entering Eurovision!" Sealand wrote in an email.

"Oh shit, we're going to die." Latvia replied back.

Later that week, they all stayed over at Sweden's house where they decided that 3 am was the most perfect time to practice their new song, 'So much better than One Direction.' Iceland had also decided it was a good idea to steal Norway's equipment to make his agro-tech music so their new song now contained techo, screaming and out of the beat drums and a triangle.

"No Sealand, you can't just be randomly smacking that triangle at every second, you have to have a beat. Dumbass!" Ladonia shouted half-way through the song.

"Oh you can talk, you're just stomping your feet and hand everywhere and hoping it creates noise. Asswipe!"

"Shut your fat mouth you monobrowed freak!" Ladonia shouted at his younger brother.

"I'll kill you!" Sealand screamed in a high pitched voice before charging at the other boy, they began to lightly slap at each other, not looking at where they were hitting. They continued this whilst making grunting and whining for the next ten minutes with Hong Kong, Iceland and Latvia watching the scene in silence.

Ladonia huffed and stomped out, kicking the paint tins. "That's it! I quit this band! I'm going to make my own songs with One Direction and Justin Beiber and it's going to sooo much better than yours!" Ladonia charged out of the garage into the dark night when there was a murderer loose.

"But Justin Beiber sucks ass!" Iceland shouted out at Ladonia.

"Whose Justin Beiber?" Latvia asked everyone, receiving worried stares from his band mates.

"Do you literally not know who any artist is?" Hong Kong replied; Latvia shrugged his shoulders. "I am surrounded with like, the worse people to be band mates with. No knowledge of fashion or music."

Tino came down and asked the boys to be quiet, this upset Iceland and he decided it would be better to go to Norway's house. Tino kicked them out eagerly. "Go on; go give someone else a headache, okay. Thanks, bye." Tino shut the garage door on all of the boys, leaving them all in the freezing Finnish winter with only their pyjamas on. Tino then kicked Ladonia out of the house with a bunch of Sweden's paint tins.

"Did you go inside?" Sealand asked his half-brother.

"Well, of course. There's a murderer out here." Ladonia replied. They all decided to head to Norway's house that was led by Iceland and Sealand. For some reason there was an old creepy man following the load of young boys, heaving and coughing loudly. Sealand's chav mode activated and he began to shout and swear at the old man, pulling out a toy knife, the man ran away from fear and kept in his house for the rest of the night.

When they arrived at Norway's house, Norway was completely naked. "Norway, we're going to be in the garage practicing for Eurovision." Iceland spoke, he was the only one who wasn't disturbed that his older brother was completely naked in front of them with a butt plug inside of him and collar around his neck. They entered into the garage and set up their band, playing loudly and badly until Denmark came down in a silky red robe and threw packets of bacon at all of the boys, telling them all to shut the fuck up.

When the week of Eurovision arrived, they all stayed in Sweden's house because Sweden didn't really have a say on it. Hong Kong got a phone call from his brother Korea. "Hey Hong Kong! Can I join your band? I can make you famous in Korea!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! NO KOREA ALLOW!" Hong Kong hung up and created an answer machine with the speech 'NO KOREA ALLOW' on it.

They arrived at the stadium where Eurovision was held, finding out they were the last to perform, TEAM BAND panicked. "I knew I should have stood up to you guys when you forced me into this band. God we're so shit." Latvia cried, having a panic attack from stage fright.

"We should just back down now." Iceland spoke, looking green in the face. None of the band member could tell if that was his face paint or his actual skin.

"Nobody is going to quit!" A voice was behind them all, it was Netherlands and as usual, he was high as fuck. "You guys made me go into hospital from weed over dose, if any of your guys quit, I'll fucking kill you all."

"Bunny man is right, we need to like, play and be awesome!" Hong Kong replied, they all cheer and go out to play. Luckily everyone was too drunk to tell that the song was really really bad and they all decided to vote for them. However, Sweden was hiding his face when various countries were asking if Sealand and Ladonia were his sons and said they weren't.

During the voting, it was shown that TEAM BAND were in the lead, making Sweden say that Sealand was his son, then Ladonia and for some reason, Latvia was his son too, and Iceland and Hong Kong. When TEAM BAND won, Sweden declared they were all his sons which made every feel uncomfortable because they didn't look related.

After Eurovision, they split up and nobody ever mentioned TEAM BAND ever again. The end.

**(AN: How the hell did you read all the way through this terrible writing? Here have a cookie, you need it.)**


End file.
